Hey there. If you are one of (likely) five people who follow my webcomic, thank you very much for your time. It's been quite a ride, and I'm very proud that I've managed to commit to working on something so consistently for the amount of time that I have. Trust me, this is very unusual for me - but I feel proud to have come as far as I have, even if it isn't really *that* far in the grand scheme of things.
Sure, perhaps the art isn't anything super stellar. Maybe the writing isn't great either. I don't really get much feedback, so I don't know, but I do know that it doesn't matter either way. I love this thing I've made, I am totally in love with it in a way that I've not been about most other things I've done. Just being in the world makes me feel good, even if creating each subsequent page is incredibly draining.
Now, on to the point of this little update.
Last night, I had a nightmare about making my webcomic. I've been... in a poor spot mentally for awhile now. It's a big part in why I make my webcomic - it's prime escapism, really. Unfortunately, it's also gotten in the way of me being a real person. Turns out, spending all day every day drawing is not conducive to transitioning into adulthood. With pressure on me to apply for community college, and with myself spending less and less time with my friends due to my comic, last night's mare acted as a sort of jolt, if you will.
So what does this mean? Am I abandoning my comic forever?
No no, nothing of the sort. I'm going on another break - just a longer one. Principally because I need to learn how to be a real person. I've been a NEET since I turned 18, and NEET adjacent since well before that. As good of an excuse to be a NEET as Covid 19 has been, I know that I can't use that as a crutch forever. I can't depend on other people to carry me forever just because I want to stay in my room all day and pretend I live in technicolour fantasy land. I need to grow some.
With that being the case, I'm taking my break now. When will I return? Probably at the start of the new year, if I had to hazard a guess. I need to reconnect with my friends. I need to start going to school. I need to find - in essence - my future. And perhaps this webcomic is my future! I can't say yet, really.
Even if it is though, right now it isn't helping me in that way. It feels good to have improved at art, it feels good to have committed to something when before I couldn't even look at my own homework, and it feels good to have this whole world that I'm so deeply in love with. But it doesn't feel good to drift away from my friends. It doesn't feel good to miss deadlines and feel like I don't want to exist as a result, even though the deadlines only really exist in my head. And it doesn't feel good to have nightmares about the things I love.
So, I do hope you all can understand, and I do hope when I come back, that some of you will still be there to explore this beautiful world with me. Until then, though, I hope you all have a beautiful life. Stay safe.
PS - If it helps any, here's another tune to tide you over until I return